This past Saturday, I sat on a panel for a Motherhood related event. Leading up to the event, I had contemplated sitting out because I don’t truly believe that I am in a place to be put on a pedestal, when it comes to having it all together. I accomplished somethings in my life and in my career, but I have soooooo much more growth ahead of me, and honestly, I’m still asking people to be my mentor. Needless to say, I went through with the event because I gave my word, and I didn’t want to back out. It went well, and I think there was some valuable information and networking that took place.
In the spirit of transparency, I don’t really love these type of events and I will say why. Many times they last two or three hours and in that short time, someone shares their story of how they got their business of the ground, how they became an influencer, or there’s some “link-up” of girl bosses. You do leave feeling empowered, but by the time the next week has rolled around, no real action or followup takes place to ensure you’re on the path to “success” (however you define it) for yourself. I further think there is a current trend or wave of these types of events, and I sometimes question the credibility or the experience of those involved.
How many vision board parties have you attended, or do you hear of? Hundreds! Now, what happens after you created those vision boards, and you begin to actually work on the things that you want? Where are the vision strategizing parties or gatherings that will help you achieve the things that are on the board. Ultimately, I think we become so fixated with the wins of others that we focus on the end result, rather than the work, blood, sweat and tears that it takes to get there. We are emotional whores when it comes to the cliché of following your dreams, and I believe, in some instances, people take advantage of that for financial gain.
We sit in the audience and “yasssss” and nods our heads the whole time. Meanwhile, its all fun and games until you understand the commitment involved. That is what we need to hear more about; and truthfully, we can attend 5 Million empowering events and none will be beneficial, until we are willing to put it the work.
On the positive side, I think that events of this sort is a great way to decompress and be in the space of like-minded individuals. I further think they are great ways to network, and allow you to speak to individuals who could potentially become your client, mentor, or future resource of some sort.
I should express that my intent is not to offend, or place every empowerment event in a box! Instead, I will say that empowerment should begin with self, as a commitment to doing the work required, to achieve your desired end result. It is ok for you be motivated by the wins of others, but be careful not to be caught in the “trend” of it all. Also, motivation and information is free and available to all, whenever you need it. Podcast, videos, and articles can all give you those same “aha” moments.
This is what I’ve recently realised too. My cousin recently went to an expensive Tony robbins conference and her conclusion was ‘it was great and your life can be great if you do the work’. I’ve started evaluating whether to go for dreams by also evaluating if I want to do the work involved too
Greetings Robyn,
A few of my friends and I were having this very discussion about how a lot of professionals in our local areas have created this realm of superiority, where they host these sort of “meet-ups” that as you said, are temporarily motivating, filled with a ton of humble bragging, business card exchanges and empty direction. We were asking each other if throughout this search of meet-ups, have we often found groups that focus on the woman vs the mask that she wears on an everyday basis? More mental health awareness meetings and self care? As you mentioned, many of us in the corporate world are like minded and we are all very aware and open to networking and advancing ourselves and have discovered many avenues of positively doing this. However, what about working on the attributes from the inside out? In particular, the fulfillment that keeps a strong woman being strong? There are very few and seldom focus groups that discuss these matters because most of us are afraid to do so. We are afraid to show “weaknesses” or “human-like” characteristics because in many cases a lot of us are too busy keeping up an appearance of this woman we have worked so hard to be. I recently came across an article in Ebony( link is below) and it really hit home for a ton of women that I shared it with. I also have a few friends who are physiologists and have confirmed that this is the most important yet least favored topic to discuss with women of color because of the very reasons my friends and I were discussing. So, maybe it would be enlightening to see more of these forums open within our communities as well. 😉
https://www.ebony.com/wellness-empowerment/black-women-healing-sisterhood-relationships