Manifesting the Experiences You Want: A Tribute to My Grandmother

My daughter, Parker Savanna!

Today is my daughter’s 3rd Birthday!  It is also the 5th anniversary of my Maternal Grandmother’s passing. As bizarre as it sounds, I prayed for it to happen this way!  I was given a mid-July due date, and I immediately began to pray for my daughter to come on July 3rd or 13th, my grandmother’s death and burial date, respectively.  I wanted to replace a sad/solemn day with a celebration of life; the life of my daughter.

The language you speak to yourself, and over yourself, greatly influences your day-to-day actions, and energy!

I learned of my pregnancy, two months shy of my 30th birthday. I was not married and, as mentioned in Starting with WHY…, and I was very concerned about how having a child would affect my career.  I knew that I wanted to go through with my pregnancy, but needed to find comfort in my decision, for myself.  About a week into knowing, I began to jot down things that were important to me in motherhood and during my pregnancy.  I told myself to forget the noise, ALL NOISE, and to enjoy a beautiful and healthy experience.  If you ever notice, people never share the good aspects of pregnancy.  You hear the horror stories about morning sickness, long labor and unbearable contractions. It’s really unavoidable!  So, I stayed away from mom blogs, negative people and energy, and literally travel the world up until a week before I delivered my daughter. I had a beautiful pregnancy from start to finish.  No sickness, weight gain, or discomfort. It was truly a peaceful and transformative stage in my life.

My work life, really just one manager, attempted to take away that peace, on a daily basis! Like asking me to dog sit (his two big dogs) for him, at like 7 months, while he traveled overseas for work. Ummm it was a NO and that “NO” really affected my time at that employer.  This was the same manager who told me “You’re not married” when I told him I was pregnant.  He would treat me like pregnancy was a handicap, bypassing me for several opportunities and saying somewhat offensive things.  He also called me, about 6 weeks into maternity leave, and told me that I needed to return to work the following Monday, when I had already cleared for 12 weeks.  I didn’t and in spite of his efforts to be the biggest nuisance, I pressed forward.
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Starting with WHY…

In November of 2014, I sat in my direct manager’s office at just five weeks pregnant, to break “the news”. I was experiencing fatigue beyond belief. So, I had to tell him that I was pregnant because I started to repeatedly show up late for work.   His response was “…but you’re not married”.  Flabbergasted and unsure of how to respond to him, I said, “Well, that doesn’t change that I’m having a baby. I am telling you because the fatigue is beyond my control and is the reason for recent and repeat tardiness.”  I excused myself, thereafter.

Rewind to just two weeks before that, when I learned of my pregnancy I had three concerns: (1) How will this affect my role as a Senior at a Fortune 500 Automaker, (2) Will my business partner, in my “side job”, think that I can no longer do the business, and (3) How disappointed is my mom going to be?  I was NEVER concerned about my ability or readiness to be a mom, but I was more concerned about how being a mom would affect the progression of my career.

“Being a mother has and will always take precedent over just about everything in my life.”

Continue reading “Starting with WHY…”